More of “Dr.” Phil’s Bogus Advice

Instead of braving today’s wet afternoon snow, I curled up on my couch to catch an episode of Dr. Phil. I tuned in half way to discover that 16-year-old Zoe uses her Myspace profile to pick up older guys and have sex with them. She posts pictures of herself looking all scene (read: multi-colored hair and over-drawn eyeliner), half-naked and pouting for the camera, chats away, invites them over (or goes out to meet them) and then gets it on.

Obviously, this is very dangerous.

So, what was Dr. Phil’s advice to poor, misguided Zoe?

(cue Southern Drawl): “Mom, Dad, you have to take away Zoe’s computer.”

WHAT?!??!

This is why Dr. Phil is not actually a licensed therapist in every state. This is the stupidest advice I have ever heard. Is the world not littered with computers? Don’t you think Zoe has computer access at school, at her friend’s houses, at an Internet Cafe, at the freaking Library?!?! Taking away her computer is NOT the answer. She will always find a way. Anyway. I’ll tell you what IS the answer:

Find out why Zoe acts the way she does. Does her father neglect her? Is she seeking male attention? Is she a sex addict?

Then, work on curing that problem. Once that problem is solved, she won’t need to turn to Myspace. And Zoe will be able to function in the real world, independently and safe. And when she goes off to college in 2 years, she won’t sit behind her computer the whole time, posting nude pics of herself for the frats across campus.

Zoe, please have your mom or dad take you to see an actual therapist with an actual clue who will agree with what I’ve said here. And please see him on a weekly basis until you feel better. I promise, it will help you. I wish you the best.

P.S.- Your hair is super cute.

Love and Lipgloss,
Cassandra